Did Abraham have the jitters??

Tomorrow is the last day of my job.  I am retiring after 28 years of work, and I am nervous.  I started this part of my journey back in September, or maybe even before that, when I decided that the work I am doing was not helping anyone, and that is where my heart is.  In obedience to that call on my life, I submitted paperwork, went to retirement seminars, calculated and recalculated my options, picked and repicked my options, and on and on ad nauseum.  I am now on the threshold of the new life, and I feel squeamish, nervous, giddy, you name it. 


I wondered in this process how Abraham felt when God said "Go and I will show you. "  It's not like he had God right there in the car seat next to him, saying "turn left at the camel, then right at the well."  He had to go blind into it.  Sort of like I am doing, only he didn't have any retirement to fall back on.  He also had a wife, and servants and his nephew and lots of other people who decided they would go with, just for the ride.  I don't have any of that.  It's me, and the cat.  The cat don't care, long as the food dish is full, and he is not on the way to the vet.  I seem to be the only one who is jittery and nervous. 


To be fair, Abraham didn't have a heap of paperwork to fill out either, and if he had, I wonder if he would have.  I mean back then they didn't even have passports.  He could go and come and go and come, cross country lines and make his own darn country.


The thing is, he didn't.  He went where God told him to, did what God said, well, except for a couple of times that we are all still paying for, but in general, he was a pretty humble sort of dude, who knew that God had his best interest at heart. 


And I know that too.  God has a plan for my life.  The problem is, I always seem to get in the way of that plan.  Seems I am always putting my fingers in the gear mechanism of the plan machine, and fouling up not only the plan, but my fingers. 


And I guess that is why I am so nervous.  My track record in these things stinks.  I am hoping and praying that God doesn't let me fall flat on my face this time, so close to the finish line.  I am trusting the best I know how, just by doing what I am told. 


I will let you know tomorrow if I smashed my hand or not. 

Copyright © 2010 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.