Who's Your Daddy?

Father’s Day is a difficult day for me.  I am missing the father who raised me.  My Grandad Linn was a kindly man who spoke gently, taught with every word and movement of his life, and loved with all of his being.  On the other hand, on this day, I am currently feeling resentment against my real father, the one who abused me and abandoned me, and seems at times to have no remorse for anything he did, and still, in spite of his age, continues some of his old behavior. (Edited June 19, 2016.  God answers prayers!  Daddy passed away on March 4, 2014, but for nearly a year prior, he was very repentant, begging forgiveness for all that he had done, and when he passed, he was at peace, and there was peace between us!) 

Today, I am fighting with myself over this.  My feelings tell me never to see this man again, never to talk to him again, and to tell him why.  But in my heart, I hear a still, small voice that tells me “Be angry, but do not sin.”  I even went to my Bible to read about how we are to treat those who mistreat us.  I found the best example in the person of Jesus Christ. 

When spoken to in harsh tones, he answered with the truth.  When injured, he did not retaliate, when spat upon, he did not spit back.  When reviled, he laid down his life for those who would kill him, and then prayed from the cross “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” 

My problem today arises from the fact that my father knows what he is doing.  He knows what self-control is.  I see him act this way toward everyone, except his children.  And there is where the anger rises in me like a flood.   But one other thing sticks in my mind.  “Forgive as you have been forgiven.”  There is not a person on the earth who has not either committed some sin, by purposeful action, or by not doing something that needed to be done. And yet God has forgiven me, and restored our relationship.  And because of that, I know that I must do the same. 

Children are reflections of their father.  They can reflect either good or bad that the father did, or they can reject it.  There are no other choices.  I made my choices long ago, as to who my real earthly father was and who I would follow.  Although one fathered me physically, the only one that counted was the one who fathered me spiritually.  He is gone to heaven, waiting for me, and no doubt watching to see what path I will choose, forgiveness or resentment. 

He taught me many things.  One of them was that when you hold on to resentment, it does nothing to the offender, but it does eat you up inside, twisting your thoughts and often your actions.  Bitterness, the opposite of forgiveness, eats the soul, taints the actions, but does nothing to the offender.  

On the other hand, the act of forgiving frees me to do the good I have been taught to do, and frees my offender to correct his actions, or not, whatever his choice is. Forgiveness allows me to move on from the heartache, to the beauty of relationship with my Heavenly Father, and to move forward, rather than living in the past.  Even if that past was just yesterday. 

The most important thing I learned from my Grandad was love.  If I truly am operating in love, I can forgive.  It does not mean that I allow someone to continue to abuse me, and it does not mean that a relationship that is destructive continues as it is.  It does mean I walk forward from the hurt, and let it go.  It means I choose to act in love, and forgive whatever insult or hurt comes my way, knowing that my real father, God in Heaven, watches over me, loves me and provides for me, forgiving me and enabling me to do the same. 

So today, on this Father’s day, I choose to honor my real Father, the one who sees, knows, and has always taken care of me and to honor the spiritual father who took the time to introduce me to Him.   Today, I choose to forgive and move forward with God’s help.
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

Tenderhearted..He Ain't Heavy.. He's My Brother..

Just questioning myself about yesterday’s blog, I wondered what the real word for “tenderhearted” was in the original text of Ephesians 4:32.  I thank God for the English versions, unless any of you can pronounce “EUSPLAGCHNOS”.  

After I found the word in the Greek Lexicon (dictionary), I was grateful that Mr. Strong took the time to let people like me know what the original text meant.  I will only guess that pronouncing this word sounds something like coughing up phlegm, another Greek word that is somewhat tasteless.  

The meaning took me totally by surprise.  It means “Pitiful”.  Now in NEW English that means something that is looked down on, like a pitiful creature, or something to be pitied. However, in Mr. King James day, it meant that you were full of pity for something or someone.  You took pity on them. 

I don’t even like the word Pity.  It sounds something like spitting, which of course would relate back to the entire Phlegm thing.  And most of us don’t like to be “pitied”, because our pride won’t let us admit we need that.

  We Americans like to believe that there is something called a bootstrap, that we can magically pull ourselves up by, and we don’t need the pity of anyone to do it.  Last time I checked, I had no boots, and my tennis shoes don’t have straps.  But what if we humans did have bootstraps installed, how on earth would we accomplish pulling ourselves up from the bottom up?  If you wonder what I am saying, please assume the following position (lay flat on the ground), Then reach down to your feet and grab where ever bootstraps would be if you had any installed on you.  I doubt you will have any luck trying to get up. You would still need the assistance of someone else to accomplish this feat.  

Which brings me to the point I was going to make when I started this venture into Greek. 
Tenderhearted, in this scripture, means to take pity on each other.  To actually have compassion for another human being, and, if I am not mistaken, Pity will move you to action on their behalf.  Or at least to helping them find their own bootstraps. Then it will move you to help them up, since you will find that they, just like you, do not come equipped with bootstraps.  

(please watch the following video, a song that has inspired me for years to help others find their bootstraps.)  
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

The Negative Approach to Life, Or??? Is Up with That??

Why do humans degrade each other with little quips, snide comments and sarcasm?  I have never understood this, although I, like most of the people on the planet have not only suffered from it, but have done it.  It seems to be a rampant disease that has taken over most cultures.  But I remember my grandmother telling me, and it stuck to me like glue “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” 

So our culture is more “evolved” than it was 40 or 50 years ago, but I am not sure that evolution has taken a turn for the better.  In fact, if anything, I think it has taken a turn for the worse.  We have espoused the idea that if we poke fun at others, or bring their faults to light, or even more devastating, degrade them because of our own feelings about them we become better.  This could not be farther from the truth. 

I am not talking about venting, or airing your feelings.  I know that this is unavoidable of adult life, and that without it relationships do not grow.  Venting your feelings, in a positive way actually opens the door for that growth.  The problem I see is that we have taken to name calling and degrading people instead of looking within ourselves for better ways to communicate, and perhaps seeing our own fault in issues. 

So I am talking to one person in particular right now, and I am not going to point out who, because then I would fall into the same bracket as that person.  I am attempting, with all that is in me not to hurl an insult to point out that the person needs to GROW UP. 

But when I think about that statement, I think perhaps the opposite is true.  We force our children to be “nice” to each other.  We punish them when they call names.  In the mean time, we are in the back room sucking our own thumbs.  Nuff said. 

One thing comes to mind. 

“Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving, even as God in Christ, forgave you” 

Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

Guess that means me too, huh?