A Child's Story

Tonight, as I put my grandchildren into bed, they asked for a story.  I may have a million of them, but there was one that was on my heart, and I decided to tell it to them.  So we lay down in my bed, snuggling, and the story began...


Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was very lonely.  She lived on a big, wide farm, with her grandfather, grandmother, and occasionally her older brother and father, plus an assortment of animals.  There were cows, pigs, rabbits, chickens, and all the other animals that go with farming.  All of the animals had someone to be friends with, and Grandad had Grandmother, but the little girl was very lonely because her mother had just gone to heaven, Daddy didn't come to see her very often, and it just seemed that no one noticed her life was so empty. She longed so much for a playmate, someone to laugh and run with, but no one her age lived close by, and so she spent her days running in the riverbed, talking to the birds and animals, and laying down at night, asking God for someone to be her friend.


One day the girl's father came to see the family and announced he was getting married.  He had someone with him to introduce to them, but this made the little girl feel very afraid.  What if her father loved this new woman more than he loved her? What if he went away for always, like her mother had?  She timidly crept behind the sofa to watch as this new person was introduced into the family.  When the new wife entered the room, she brought two others with her, a girl, about 12, and another child, whom the girl could not see from her vantage point, so she struggled to get into a position where she could eye these new found usurpers of her home. Squirming about, trying to get a better vantage point, she came eye to eye with a boy, who was just her age.

Oddly enough he had the same eyes she had, he looked very much like she did, and he stared back at her with the same amazement she was seeing him with. Eye to eye they stood, silent.  Then the little girl asked the boy if he would like to go see her river.  And off they went to run in the river.  After that, the little girl was not lonely anymore, and neither was the little boy.  You see, he had lost his father, and was as lonely as the little girl was. He, too had asked God to send a friend to him. 

As they grew together, they became more than friends, they became sister and brother, and they spent glorious days running the prairies, running in the riverbed, sharing stories, hopes and dreams. As far as I can tell, the last I knew, that is where they still are.. happily running together in the sun.


My grandson Noah commented as he nodded off to sleep, "that is the best story ever, Granny..."  And I have to agree.  For it is the story of my brother and I.


Once in a while, once upon a time, once in a lifetime, God listens to the heart of a child, knows exactly what they need, and brings the one person to them, who, of all the people on the planet, can help save them from the loneliness that the world puts on their small shoulders.  Once upon a time, God did that for me.  
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

God Loves You!

I was going through some old boxes of "stuff" that I have collected over the years. Several of them are full of the artwork, cards, homework and awards of my children that I could not part with.  I find this old adage to be true: "If your child's art makes it to the refrigerator, it will never leave your heart."  


One of those pieces of artwork just stuck in my mind today.  It is a simple red heart, boldly painted, like a blaring message, emblazoned with the words "God Loves You."  It was done by my second child, who always said he wanted to be a pastor.  It seemed to be in his blood.  Now he is in charge of his own little band of believers, his four children, who no doubt will probably have their own artwork displayed on his refrigerator.  


But it was the message in that piece of art that grabbed me today.  It nearly screamed a message to me, that I hear clearly now, but wonder why I couldn't back when it was given to me.  Back then I was trapped in my codependency, longing so much for a man to love me for who I was, and wasting all my youth, time and love on those who did not care for anything but themselves.  The truth be told, that was exactly what I was doing too.  I was not thinking about those I dated, I was longing for fulfillment for myself.  


Over the years, I came to understand that no man, no human, could give me the love I longed for.  And slowly, very slowly, I began to remember all the times God was there for me, all the miracles He had worked in my life, all the provisions He had made in my times of need.  As I felt that love, I began to grow spiritually.  I am not yet done with that process.  


Somehow I had boxed up His love for me , like some treasure to keep for another day. The problem was, I needed that love every day.  I learned slowly, and am still learning, that I need to remember this every day, every minute of my life. Like my son's picture I had kept in a box, I had boxed up God's love, storing for another day, when I needed it more than food, water or even air.  


Today I put that picture in a frame, along with other artwork, so that I can look at it every day to remind myself that God loves me.  He always has, He always will, I just need to sit up and take notice.  


I hope you will scroll down and listen to the video by Mercy Me, "The Love of God."  I hope it blesses your heart like it did mine. 


GOD LOVES YOU.  

Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

The Love of God

6 am Reflections

It is 6:00 in the morning, and I am thinking. Not anything organized, just scattered thoughts.  I sit in the patio drinking my coffee every morning doing this.  I have done this for years.  It is one of my habits.
Yesterday I was in a funky mood.  Left overs from the shooting on Saturday, I am sure, but it makes me think sad thoughts.  Thoughts of those I lost whom I loved so much.  I think of the life they led, and how their lives, poured into mine, formed who I was to become.
Specifically, I am thinking about my grandfather.  I miss him. After 42 long, long years, I still miss him.  He was a bright spot on the map of my life. 


What made him so special that so many years later, I remember his gentle touch on my hair, hear his soft voice, see his face?  And one of those deep thoughts sets in.  He was a reflection of the one I want to be like, and am sometimes nothing at all like. 


I am sure there were times that he was impatient, but I never saw that.  I am sure that there were times when he did things wrong, never knew of that either.  Because he was so very human, I am sure that he had sin in his life, but I never noticed.  He was, to put it short, the most perfect human I ever knew.  He was, as I said before, a reflection.  Of Christ. 


Patience, enough to hold his tongue when a teenager talked back to him.  Love, enough to lay down his chance at a peaceful retired life, to take care of two kids whose mother had passed and whose father was a mess from the after effects of war and grief.  Joy, even in the midst of losing his wife, putting up with teenagers, running a farm where everything that could go wrong did, and poverty.  Hope, enough to teach a child how to hope in bad circumstances.  Kindness, to every creature; man or beast, even the occasional skunk who would show up on our porch. Goodness that was extended to anyone who knew him.  Faithful to the very last minute of his life.   


But as I said before, he was a reflection.  Like the moon reflects the sun, he reflected Christ in every word and deed.  And like I said before, I miss him still, but he did leave a legacy.  He left me here to carry on. 


As I sit in the morning, watching the light creeping over the hills, the moon hanging like a half-slip of light in the sky, my hope for today is that I can, like that half-slip moon, reflect even a portion of who Christ is in my life.  I am not expecting a miracle.  Or maybe I am. 


 ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Galations 5: 22-23. 

Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

The world gone mad?

This morning a young man shot several people at a shopping center near my home.  One of the victims was our Representative Gabrielle Giffords.

Although I know a lot of people took exception to some of her views, the thing that was notable about her was that she actually listened to her consituency.  In fact, this morning, that is exactly what she was doing out at the grocery store. Getting the feel of the common man.  This is an atrocity at it's highest level.

The young man who did this was perhaps not in his right mind. But we hear of these things all the time.  Murders happen weekly here, if not daily.  Children are abused, elderly are abandoned.  It would seem that the values we attest to have as Americans are not in place anymore and that the world has gone mad.

And sometimes, like today, it feels like it.  But the truth of the matter is, the world has always been mad, an insane place to live, and it is only by the grace of a good God that anything good in the world still exists.  But that is my point.  Good still does exist here.  There are those who put their lives on the line for others, day to day.  Police officers, Sheriff's deputies, our military, nurses, doctors, and yes, even the common day to day generic citizen who reaches out to help another individual.

Let's keep our nation in prayer.  Let's keep all of  us in prayer.  But today, specifically the victims and their families in prayer.
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

Car trouble, oh the joy!

I left lunch with a friend yesterday, on my way to the nursing home, and the check engine light came on on my car.  Not knowing what that meant, I decided to pass the nursing home up and head straight to the mechanic.  Not that this is a particularly strange thing for my car. 


I promise to delete all expletives here, for the sake of the shame I created for myself yesterday.  As I was saying I headed straight for the mechanic, whose shop is just about a half mile down the road.  Having just rebuilt the engine not even 25000 miles before, replaced every hose, belt, and fluid that could possible be changed or replaced, replaced air conditioning parts, pulleys and whatever else appears to be under the hood, you would think I would have felt confident that it was just some minor glitch.  But you don't know my car. 


My car is an evil thing.  He has ESP, meaning that he knows when money is coming in, and intends to spend it.  He also has a reputation for breaking down.  Not that he is old, or hasn't been taken care of properly, but that he is needy, like some men I used to date.  Note the USED to in that statement. He only has 54000 miles on him, he has new tires and everything new, and he chose NOW to demand more from me.  I currently have $8200.00 in repairs on a vehicle that cost $13000.00 in just a short 18 months.


The mechanic approached me tentatively with that look like "WHAT NOW!"  but did not say it.  Holding my breath slightly, I squeezed out that the check engine light had come on and the car had chugged the 1/2 mile to his shop.  He explained the routine I am so well used to now.  This will cost blah-blah-blah to check it, and if this is what is wrong you will have to pay blah-blah-blah.. Somewhere in his required statement, my mind went numb.  I asked him if he had kerosene and a match so I could set it on fire.  Of if he would kindly run it off the cliff in the back of his shop.  And a few other things that I said I would delete here.  He chuckled a little and patted me on the shoulder, like "There, there.. it is not all that bad.."  Off to work he went.  Three hours later he presented me with a $300.00 bill, and his condolences on my choice of vehicles. In addition, he told me that it would soon require another $1200.00 for a timing belt and an additional $900.00 for shocks and struts.  If you total that all up, in the near future I will have paid $14,300.00 for a $13000.00 vehicle!  The added plus to the cost is the apologies I had to give for my behavior...


Where is the joy in this?  Well, I had three hours to think how I got into this mess.  I realized that it is all my own doing, my own lust for vehicle pride, and the prayers I had recently prayed regarding my car.  I had asked God to guide me on whether I should pay it off and keep it, or buy something else.  I definitely realized that this breakdown was an answer to my prayer.  Just like God, clear and definite, if I choose to listen.  The joy in this is that God answered and I was listening.  Nothing like hitting the pocket book to get my attention, Lord! 


Anyone know of a good vehicle for sale??
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

What did I miss?

I just finished hemming 4 pairs of pants.  Seems like a simple task, which usually it would be, but today I decided to attempt to learn how to "blind hem" on a sewing machine.  Not that I am exactly a novice at this, or that I am unfamiliar with the simple task of sewing.  What made it such a daunting task was figuring out how to work the machine.  It took me 4 hours, but it is done.  I am not exactly a pro at it, but at least I know what to do. It is a shame that I have had this machine over 10 years, and had no clue it could do what it does. 

Which led me to a question.  Since I retired, less than a week ago, it seems I have not stopped once.  I somehow had pictured retirement in a different light.  Something like long walks, and time to dream and write and paint.  It hasn't been anything like that, and it is no one's fault but my own.  I stopped at some point today in between the frustration of another ruined hemline, and wondered HOW on EARTH did I EVER do all the things I did, just a week ago?

My days began early, 5:00 AM usually, with a quick cup of coffee, take care of some housework, start work, finish a gazillion things at that, end at 3:00, run to the nursing home, stop at the store, come home, clean up some, cook dinner, pay bills, maybe back out to run an errand.  Then go to bed with a list in my head of everything I had to do tomorrow.  And with all that, I was much more efficient than I was today with the entire sewing machine thing.  The day is nearly spent, and I still have a lot of stuff to do, and I haven't done half of what I used to do!

Which led me to thinking again.  What did I miss in all those years of rushing and working, and running and running?  What sunrises did I miss in my blatant efficiency?  How many of my children's smiles did I miss in my race to get things done?  How many of my grand-children's days went by, how many wonderful times with friends, how much of MY LIFE did I miss, because I thought I had to do it all?

I figure, by the odds, I have a pretty good chance of another 25 years at living.  Today I decided I don't want to waste another minute of it, just letting it rush by while I am too busy to notice.  I want to breathe in tomorrows sunrise, tonight's sunset, the laughter of my children and grand-children, the joy of learning new things, seeing new things.  I want to reconnect with old friends, and make new ones.  Most of all I don't want to miss the joy of watching God make me into someone new.

It is funny that He opened my eyes to all of this in the midst of the chaos of my sewing lesson.  When I was a kid and my grandmother was teaching me to sew, all I wanted to do was run outside to play.  I used to stare longingly at the window wishing I was anywhere, but there.  Which is why one day, I ran the needle through my thumb.

I don't want God to have to run a needle through my thumb to wake me up this time.

Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.

Just thinking....

Although I have been accused of "thinking too much", it seems to be my nature.  But I was watching the Brandon Heath video "Give me your eyes" and thinking again.  Thinking about those who are forgotten. 


In our society we are all so busy. Getting to work, working, getting home, taking care of our homes.  It seems that our own little worlds are so small that there is not time in the day to look around and really see what is going on.  Sure, we do watch the news, but how easy is it to turn it off because we don't want to hear, yet again, a story that will depress us or make us afraid. 


There is so much going on just around the corner from any of us.  There are those in nursing homes, trapped, in a prison of pain, blindness, who are suffering, and we drive past these homes every day, without a thought.  There are those in prison, although perhaps for good reasons, who are sad and suffering.  There are those in houses that we can't see, who are hungry, lonely, hurting.  There are those under bridges, trees in the park, hidden in the places where the shame of their circumstance won't be discovered by the world. 


We drive past them every day.  We walk past them in the supermarket.  We live next door to them.  They work with us.  We do not see them.  How can that be?  How could I have missed all those hurting ones?


I think perhaps I am blinded by the world, but no, as I was thinking this morning, I realize I am blinded by self.  I have much to accomplish on any given day, too much to do, not enough time.  I am too busy, too embarrassed to talk to those on the street corner, or sometimes just don't have a clue what to do about it. It is not that I don't care, not that most of us don't care.  It is that we are caught up in routines that we don't want to break because that is how we believe we are going to succeed in life.


But what is success?  Having recently retired, I am not feeling any great sense of accomplishment.  Perfect scores at work only made me want more perfect scores, and only fueled my drive to do everything perfectly, which made me nearly crazy sometimes.  I can truly say, having worked for the State for years, I will not be in the worlds richest list.  True, I had some accomplishments that brought satisfaction for the moment, but only for that moment. 


My only true successes were the ones where I poured everything I had into someone.  Giving a bed to a homeless teen, maybe some direction in life, or even just giving kind words.  Teaching a man in a nursing home how to operate the remote on a daily basis because he forgets.  Stopping by to visit with an elderly person.  Helping a kid with their homework.  Reaching out to a homeless person, who wanted to change his life, but had no clue where to begin. Giving a hot bowl of soup to the man on the corner.  These things are the only things that ever brought me any satisfaction in life.


I was reading my Bible last night, specifically John 17.  In this chapter, Jesus prays for us, while he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, and says "These things I speak that my joy be fulfilled in themselves".  But what was that joy He spoke of ? 


I find myself thinking of what He did on the earth, healing the sick and blind, feeding the hungry, giving them words of hope, dying so that others could live.  And I wonder can I do these things.  I wonder how I will even know where to begin. I do not have magical powers, or even the eyes to see all that I have been missing.  But I do have a Father in Heaven who does.  I want His joy.  To reach out and touch those who are hurting, and to give them hope. 

Lord please, today, help me to not miss even the smallest thing. Give me your heart, and Your arms. And today, please, give me Your eyes.  
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.(Please take a moment to view the video by Brandon Heath.) 

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes