Listen and You will know Him

About 20 years ago, my daughter informed me she wanted to be baptized.  I was ecstatic of course and we made all the arrangements.  In my churches case, that means showing up when baptisms are being performed and bringing a change of clothes and a towel.  At the time, our church did not have a baptistry so we were “borrowing” one from another church.  Eventually, our church gave that all up because there were too many being baptized at one time.  Now we do it at a public pool where all who want may come and be baptized.  I have seen as many as 20 or more be baptized like this.  It reminds me of what is described in the scriptures as people went down to the Jordan River to be baptized.  But on to my experience.

We loaded up the car that evening, with all the necessary things, and of course, the kids.  (I mean what else do you need to be baptized but people, their commitment and water?)   And off we went.  I was so happy to have all my kids with me and a few friends to witness this momentous occasion.  But deep in my heart was this longing.  I had never seen my boys baptized, never heard of them getting baptized. Needless to say communication between the goings on at my Ex’s house and mine was limited to athletic game times and pick up and drop off times.  So I was wondering as we drove on to the church, if that had happened and I never was informed of it. 

However, when we got there, I became the busy mom, getting my girl settled in the women’s’ side of the baptistry, telling her what was going to happen, and listening to her say “I know mom, I know” and watching her roll her eyes.  Then I went down front to watch this amazing occasion.  

I sat down right square in the middle of the church, my boys on either side of me, and a couple of friends there to my right.  And then it began, praise songs rising in the sanctuary, as people went down into the water.  I held my breath. It was almost time for my girl to go down. 

And then I heard God’s voice.  As always in my right ear as if He were sitting just behind me.  He said, “I will restore the years that the cankerworm and the locust have eaten.”  In my mind, I was thinking, “All righty Lord, I have no clue what that means.“

And then my oldest son jumped up, all excited and exclaimed, “I’m going to get baptized!!”  And off he ran toward the men’s section.  I had about 3 seconds to catch my breath, and my youngest son jumped up and said “I’m going to get baptized!”  And he jumped up and ran off after his brother.  Believe me, I had to take several deep breaths as this unfolded before my eyes. 

And I watched, as all of my children went down in the water on that most momentous day.  Photos captured showed only them going in, but it could not capture the beating of my heart, and the tears in my eyes.  

Since that day, the Lord has restored much to me that was important.  I am not talking about lands or property or any earthly things.  He has restored to me a belief in Him and His word that I had let the busy-ness of life rob me of so many years ago.  He has built a relationship with me. And He continues to do so.

It has changed some, this hearing from the Lord, because the closer I get to Him, the less He has to shout at me.  Reminds me sometimes of my daughter’s dog, who knows instinctively when she is going to do something, and associates simple words to know what is expected of her.  Actually, Jesus compared His followers to sheep, who are way less attentive than dogs.  I hate to admit it, but we humans are dumber than dogs.  We are compared to sheep who in my experience are stubborn and willful and at times just plain dumb.  But the Lord loves His sheep!! 

John 10:27   “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

 

Next up, Hackers smacked

GOD SPEAKS IN THE MIDDLE OF HEARTBREAK.

Numbers 30:2   “  If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

Almost two decades ago, I had met up with my very first love.  We chatted online, on the phone, and eventually I flew out to meet him for the first time in over 30 years.  He hadn’t changed much, still had lots of energy and things to say, but I was shocked when I heard him ask me to marry him.  Not just shocked, but ELECTRIFIED.  Because now I believed all of my dreams were coming true.  I went to his city, interviewed for a job there and got it on the spot, and went home to my family to announce that we would be moving.  I also turned in my resignation to my current employer.

Until one day, I woke with a little voice inside that said “NO!”  Needless to say I followed up to figure out why, but I won’t go into those details, because they are not the point of this story.  I did pull my resignation, tell the other employer I would not be coming, and informed my fiance that I would not be getting married to him.  Then I laid down to cry over my broken dreams.

One morning I woke in tears again, but I felt the feeling of arms encircling me from behind. I would have been terrified, with the exception of the Voice I heard.  He said, “Behold, I make all things new.”   And although I heard, and I knew the Voice, I did not understand. I got up and went on with my life from there, not thinking much of what was being “made new”.

Many years passed and I still hadn’t figured out what was being made new.  But I had grown to trust God in all that He said and did in my life, and I knew He had a plan for me.  Last week I was out driving and just reminiscing about all the times I spent here in Tucson. Over there was a park that my boys played ball at, there was the school where my little girl went to kindergarten, beyond that my old place of employment.  During that drive I passed many places that my dad had talked about.  And a light came on in my brain.   (Don't you just wish we humans had brain traffic lights to stop us from doing stupid things?)  This was not a traffic light, it was a light to illuminate why God had kept me here, and what He had meant by things being made new. 

During those years following what I thought were the demise of my dreams, I had watched my sons marry and my grandchildren born.   I watched my daughter excel in all she put her hand to. Beyond all that, my dad had gone blind, gotten very ill and ended up in a nursing home where he passed away.  I sat with him, and watched the light of the glory of the Lord on his face, and knew he was finally seeing the one he truly loved, Jesus, as he took his last breath.  And then part of the “Why” was answered.  

And now I page back to December of 1967.  My Grandad, who was my earthly hero, had been put in a nursing home after his stroke.  He begged to go home, and I wanted him to, not understanding that there was no way I could care for him.  Since I was only 15, I had to have my dad take me to the nursing home for they did not allow anyone under 16 to visit without an adult present.  The week before December 26, 1967, I had been to visit him and promised him that I would be there with him on Christmas day.  That never came to pass, because that day my dad never went to see him.  However, he did go the following day, but did not take me with him.  When he returned home, he was sobbing uncontrollably, and telling how he had walked in to find Grandad dead.  I was furious!!!  And in my grief and despair I blurted out “I SWEAR TO GOD I will NEVER LEAVE YOU TO DIE ALONE IN A NURSING HOME!!”   And then I just went to my bed and cried.

At the time of my dad’s passing the Lord brought something to me.  The vow that I had never remembered, God had allowed me to keep.  I had not left Dad to die alone in a nursing home.  So how does this relate back to the beginning of this tale?  Had I married and left this town, I would never have been able to watch my sons marry and my grandchildren born or my daughter exceed my highest expectations.  I would have missed all those years.  I would not have been here to care for my dad in those years that he needed me so.  But most importantly, I would not have been here to be with my dad as he died and I would not have been able to keep the vow I swore to the Lord back in 1967.  The Lord accomplished it all!!

To be continued

A Voice in my wilderness

                                       

I have neglected the gift the Lord gave me so long ago.  It was years ago, when I was just a little girl, that I stole off to the barn with a No. 2 pencil and a piece of paper and wrote my heart out.  It continued sporadically throughout my life, eventually resulting in creation of a blog, publication of a book of poetry, and various and sundry other things.  But today I heard the Voice of God again, and so now I will tell of that.  Because He has been calling me back.  Back to writing, back to the gift He first gave me.  It is all for His reason and His purpose that I tell the following stories. 

The first time I heard this Voice, I was standing in my kitchen doing dishes and my three month old daughter was sleeping in her crib.  As I washed and set the dishes to dry, I heard a voice behind me in my right ear.  Not loud, but just as though that person was standing right behind me.  The Voice said, “Aasia is going to get meningitis.”   I whirled around to see who was there, but there was no one.  I went cautiously through my apartment checking each corner of each room and checking on my sleeping baby.  No one was there.  My assumption?  I was hearing things.  DOH. 

8 months later, I woke up early so I could get my baby girl off to the sitter before work.  But when I went to her crib and touched her, she was burning up with fever.  And I heard the Voice, “This is it.”  Then I knew it was the voice of the Lord, warning me. 

I packed up some baby necessities and rushed her off to the pediatrician.  He examined her, gave her medicine, bathed her in ice, but still the fever held.  At that time he told me to take her home and let her sleep, and if she got worse to take her to the Emergency Room.  Do you think I had the courage to tell the doctor that I had heard the voice of God tell me she had meningitis?  No!!  I was more worried he would think I was insane!  But I followed his orders, and called in to work saying I would not be in, then laid down with her to sleep. 

When I woke, I checked her and she was unconscious, with her eyes rolled back in her head. In terror I snatched her up and drove like a mad woman to the hospital.  And second miracle (because the first was God speaking to me), there was a doctor standing at the door!!  He saw me carrying in her limp body and took her from me, asking “What’s going on with her?”   I blurted out, “She has meningitis!!”  And he looked at me, cocked his head and said “How do you know this?”  Believe me, at that point, I had no problem telling him, or worrying about whether he thought I was crazy or not.  And I blurted out, “God told me!”   He looked at me in a strange way, but said he was taking her immediately for a spinal tap.  When he came back into the lobby where I was waiting, he said that the second the fluid came out he knew that is was indeed meningitis and that they were admitting her.  I cried and cried, walking up with her to the Pediatric ICU, and then cried as I watched them insert needles in her skull and arms.  The prognosis for her recovery was dim.

But doctors are not God.  God had a plan for my baby and for me.  A month later, I took her home with me and we celebrated her first birthday.  It is true, she had to relearn walking and all that, but I can tell you that since that day, nothing has stopped my girl from what she set her mind to do.  She had some physical issues because of it, but nothing to stop her from anything she wanted to do.

And as for myself, I was not only grateful to the Lord for warning me and saving her life, but just for speaking to me.  For indeed, He showed me the path to life.  It would not be the last time, either.  

Perhaps one of you has also heard His voice?  

1 Timothy 4:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ Do not neglect the gift that is in you"

 To be continued