The Least of These

My sons and daughters blessed me so much this weekend.  It was Mother’s day, and they did not leave me alone or forgotten during this quarantine life. My oldest son and his wife decided to bless me not only with flowers, but with a plethora of food that I could never in my life eat.  So much of it that my fridge was filled to overflowing with premade sandwiches and pastries. This morning, getting ready to go out for my walk, I thought about that food.  And as He always does, the Lord made me think of who I could bless with all this. I thought of the little man who sits on the corner by the grocery store near me.  I loaded it all up, added a few of my own goodies in there, and headed out the door.  But when I got to that corner, no one was there. 

I said a little prayer.  “Lord, I know there are those out here without food or shelter.  I just don’t know where they are!  Please show me!”  And then I headed off to a neighborhood Walmart that is in one of “Those” districts.  I often come here because there is a Dollar Tree and have occasionally seen some homeless waving their signs out there.  But today I wanted the Lord to show me WHO and WHERE  instead of following my own previous knowledge.  So I prayed again.  “Lord SHOW ME” 

When I got to the Walmart I noticed a back alley that went behind it.  I had seen it before, but never been down there.  But that driveway shouted at me. ”TURN HERE” (LOL, I know it wasn’t the driveway shouting!)  So down I turned, winding behind the Walmart and several other shops and down another alley that looked vacant and seeing no one.  But then I slowed and looked to my left in some bushes.

There was a young man, trying to pack up his bag (to get away from me I’m sure.) I pulled up, rolled down my window, said good morning, and he responded as he continued to pack his bag.  Then I asked him, “Are you homeless?”  (DOH)  He responded, “Yes I am”   He might have rolled his eyes a bit, like he was thinking “Lady are you stupid?”   But then I asked him, “Are you hungry?”  And his eyes lit up!!  “Yes, I am!!”  I told him that God had led me to him to deliver food.  I thought his jaw was going to fall off when he heard it.  And I asked him to come out of the bushes and over to the car. 

I pulled the bag of food out, and asked him to take whatever he liked.  His eyes were filled with tears, and so were mine.  But he eagerly plunged his hand in and took several sandwiches, a bottle of juice, and some pastries.  Then he looked at me with those tear filled eyes, and said, “Thank you so much!!”  And my response was?  “God sent it to you.”  And I drove off. 

I still had three sandwiches to give away, and no clue how to find anyone.  Every corner I drove past that was usually occupied was barren.  So I prayed again, and God sent me way off of any course I would have chosen.  As I drove though, I seemed to see no one.  And then I spotted someone in the rear view mirror behind a low wall at the Circle K I had just passed.  I made a quick U-turn and came back, parked and walked up to the person, noting as they lifted their head that it was an older woman.  I asked if she was hungry, and her response was nearly the same as the bushman.  So we walked over to my car and I handed her the bag.  When she looked inside, her eyes filled with tears.  She said, “For me?”  I said, “Yes, for you, from God.”  And then the most beautiful smile crossed her face.  She told me her name, I told her mine, and we parted ways. 

I will never forget this experience.  In fact, I will never forget it so much, I am figuring out what kind of sandwiches I can make for the next trip.  I know without a doubt my Lord will guide me to those who are hiding in fear and hungry.  

Matthew 25:40  “ and the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, You have done it unto me. “

You'll Never Walk Alone

Yesterday I went for a long walk, along the trail that they call “River” walk.  To those of us who know what a river really is, this is a giant wash, but for Tucsonans it’s the “River”. That being said, I decided that river or no river, water or no water, I needed fresh air and a change of scenery.  Being cooped up in the house because of the Coronavirus, is not fun for anyone, even us old birds.  So I took myself down to the “River” and began a walk.  I was alone, thinking of all that is going on around the world, wondering what God is going to do with this, speculating on what He can do with it.  And as I walked I gained company.  Not anything human, but still company.

The first to greet me was a Quail.  She apparently was not happy with my invasion of her space, thinking that her little ones were in danger.  She didn’t have to worry, they were not even snack size.  I laughed at her abrupt manner at trying to make me back off. And I kept on walking.  Then a ground squirrel popped up in the middle of the trail, eyeing me.  Most likely she had not seen a human by there in a while either.  She waited till I got close and then went to sound the warning to the other squirrels, before she scuttled down into her hole. 

And I kept walking.  And then I started talking.  To the Lord.  Thanking Him for this place, for the beauty that is there, for the opportunity to escape my prison.  And then a song came to me.  God often does that with me when I am not paying attention. A song will just come into my head, and just run on and on.  I don’t need earbuds, or a radio, or any device, because the Lord is playing it for me. I heard it distinctly, “Joy still comes in the morning, Hope still walks with the hurting, If you're still alive and breathing Praise the Lord!”

Suddenly my eyes were open to really SEE what was going on around me.  My ears were hearing the sounds of life all around me, birds singing, squirrels chirping, a horse neighing in the distance. What I had thought was a deserted trail, was in fact filled with life, showing the greatness of God.  My heart stirred within me as He showed me the beautiful purple flowers and yellow budding mesquite trees.  I knew in my heart He was walking with me, singing a song to me comforting me.  And that was when the finches showed up.

Three tiny little birds, yellow heads, eyes watching me, flew along and would alight along the trail ahead of me. I relished the thought that they were my “trail guides” for the day.  They did not distract me from my thoughts, they confirmed to me that I was not alone.  Yes all three little finches, a ground squirrel and a grumpy quail along the trail were confirmation that God was walking with me, singing a song to me, comforting me.  He was growing flowers for me, and giving me them in full bloom.  He was showing me the love He has for me. In reality, He had been there all the time, even in my isolation at my house, but I was so caught up with Covid-19, my efforts to connect had been nearly futile. 

I thought when I got home, how on earth did I miss it for the past two weeks?  How had I so easily been distracted from the greatest thing, greatest person ever to come into my life?  And I realized this.  It’s not the fault of fake-news, or real news, or what is or is not on TV.  It was my own fault, the fault of not remaining focused on the one who really loves me.

 Go out today.  Find a secluded place, walk with God.  If you don’t know Him, search for Him with all your heart, and you will find a companion for life, who exceeds any expectation you ever had.  Don’t be distracted by all the hype.  Be encouraged by the reality that God loves you and wants a relationship with YOU. 

Listen and You will know Him

About 20 years ago, my daughter informed me she wanted to be baptized.  I was ecstatic of course and we made all the arrangements.  In my churches case, that means showing up when baptisms are being performed and bringing a change of clothes and a towel.  At the time, our church did not have a baptistry so we were “borrowing” one from another church.  Eventually, our church gave that all up because there were too many being baptized at one time.  Now we do it at a public pool where all who want may come and be baptized.  I have seen as many as 20 or more be baptized like this.  It reminds me of what is described in the scriptures as people went down to the Jordan River to be baptized.  But on to my experience.

We loaded up the car that evening, with all the necessary things, and of course, the kids.  (I mean what else do you need to be baptized but people, their commitment and water?)   And off we went.  I was so happy to have all my kids with me and a few friends to witness this momentous occasion.  But deep in my heart was this longing.  I had never seen my boys baptized, never heard of them getting baptized. Needless to say communication between the goings on at my Ex’s house and mine was limited to athletic game times and pick up and drop off times.  So I was wondering as we drove on to the church, if that had happened and I never was informed of it. 

However, when we got there, I became the busy mom, getting my girl settled in the women’s’ side of the baptistry, telling her what was going to happen, and listening to her say “I know mom, I know” and watching her roll her eyes.  Then I went down front to watch this amazing occasion.  

I sat down right square in the middle of the church, my boys on either side of me, and a couple of friends there to my right.  And then it began, praise songs rising in the sanctuary, as people went down into the water.  I held my breath. It was almost time for my girl to go down. 

And then I heard God’s voice.  As always in my right ear as if He were sitting just behind me.  He said, “I will restore the years that the cankerworm and the locust have eaten.”  In my mind, I was thinking, “All righty Lord, I have no clue what that means.“

And then my oldest son jumped up, all excited and exclaimed, “I’m going to get baptized!!”  And off he ran toward the men’s section.  I had about 3 seconds to catch my breath, and my youngest son jumped up and said “I’m going to get baptized!”  And he jumped up and ran off after his brother.  Believe me, I had to take several deep breaths as this unfolded before my eyes. 

And I watched, as all of my children went down in the water on that most momentous day.  Photos captured showed only them going in, but it could not capture the beating of my heart, and the tears in my eyes.  

Since that day, the Lord has restored much to me that was important.  I am not talking about lands or property or any earthly things.  He has restored to me a belief in Him and His word that I had let the busy-ness of life rob me of so many years ago.  He has built a relationship with me. And He continues to do so.

It has changed some, this hearing from the Lord, because the closer I get to Him, the less He has to shout at me.  Reminds me sometimes of my daughter’s dog, who knows instinctively when she is going to do something, and associates simple words to know what is expected of her.  Actually, Jesus compared His followers to sheep, who are way less attentive than dogs.  I hate to admit it, but we humans are dumber than dogs.  We are compared to sheep who in my experience are stubborn and willful and at times just plain dumb.  But the Lord loves His sheep!! 

John 10:27   “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

 

Next up, Hackers smacked

GOD SPEAKS IN THE MIDDLE OF HEARTBREAK.

Numbers 30:2   “  If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

Almost two decades ago, I had met up with my very first love.  We chatted online, on the phone, and eventually I flew out to meet him for the first time in over 30 years.  He hadn’t changed much, still had lots of energy and things to say, but I was shocked when I heard him ask me to marry him.  Not just shocked, but ELECTRIFIED.  Because now I believed all of my dreams were coming true.  I went to his city, interviewed for a job there and got it on the spot, and went home to my family to announce that we would be moving.  I also turned in my resignation to my current employer.

Until one day, I woke with a little voice inside that said “NO!”  Needless to say I followed up to figure out why, but I won’t go into those details, because they are not the point of this story.  I did pull my resignation, tell the other employer I would not be coming, and informed my fiance that I would not be getting married to him.  Then I laid down to cry over my broken dreams.

One morning I woke in tears again, but I felt the feeling of arms encircling me from behind. I would have been terrified, with the exception of the Voice I heard.  He said, “Behold, I make all things new.”   And although I heard, and I knew the Voice, I did not understand. I got up and went on with my life from there, not thinking much of what was being “made new”.

Many years passed and I still hadn’t figured out what was being made new.  But I had grown to trust God in all that He said and did in my life, and I knew He had a plan for me.  Last week I was out driving and just reminiscing about all the times I spent here in Tucson. Over there was a park that my boys played ball at, there was the school where my little girl went to kindergarten, beyond that my old place of employment.  During that drive I passed many places that my dad had talked about.  And a light came on in my brain.   (Don't you just wish we humans had brain traffic lights to stop us from doing stupid things?)  This was not a traffic light, it was a light to illuminate why God had kept me here, and what He had meant by things being made new. 

During those years following what I thought were the demise of my dreams, I had watched my sons marry and my grandchildren born.   I watched my daughter excel in all she put her hand to. Beyond all that, my dad had gone blind, gotten very ill and ended up in a nursing home where he passed away.  I sat with him, and watched the light of the glory of the Lord on his face, and knew he was finally seeing the one he truly loved, Jesus, as he took his last breath.  And then part of the “Why” was answered.  

And now I page back to December of 1967.  My Grandad, who was my earthly hero, had been put in a nursing home after his stroke.  He begged to go home, and I wanted him to, not understanding that there was no way I could care for him.  Since I was only 15, I had to have my dad take me to the nursing home for they did not allow anyone under 16 to visit without an adult present.  The week before December 26, 1967, I had been to visit him and promised him that I would be there with him on Christmas day.  That never came to pass, because that day my dad never went to see him.  However, he did go the following day, but did not take me with him.  When he returned home, he was sobbing uncontrollably, and telling how he had walked in to find Grandad dead.  I was furious!!!  And in my grief and despair I blurted out “I SWEAR TO GOD I will NEVER LEAVE YOU TO DIE ALONE IN A NURSING HOME!!”   And then I just went to my bed and cried.

At the time of my dad’s passing the Lord brought something to me.  The vow that I had never remembered, God had allowed me to keep.  I had not left Dad to die alone in a nursing home.  So how does this relate back to the beginning of this tale?  Had I married and left this town, I would never have been able to watch my sons marry and my grandchildren born or my daughter exceed my highest expectations.  I would have missed all those years.  I would not have been here to care for my dad in those years that he needed me so.  But most importantly, I would not have been here to be with my dad as he died and I would not have been able to keep the vow I swore to the Lord back in 1967.  The Lord accomplished it all!!

To be continued

A Voice in my wilderness

                                       

I have neglected the gift the Lord gave me so long ago.  It was years ago, when I was just a little girl, that I stole off to the barn with a No. 2 pencil and a piece of paper and wrote my heart out.  It continued sporadically throughout my life, eventually resulting in creation of a blog, publication of a book of poetry, and various and sundry other things.  But today I heard the Voice of God again, and so now I will tell of that.  Because He has been calling me back.  Back to writing, back to the gift He first gave me.  It is all for His reason and His purpose that I tell the following stories. 

The first time I heard this Voice, I was standing in my kitchen doing dishes and my three month old daughter was sleeping in her crib.  As I washed and set the dishes to dry, I heard a voice behind me in my right ear.  Not loud, but just as though that person was standing right behind me.  The Voice said, “Aasia is going to get meningitis.”   I whirled around to see who was there, but there was no one.  I went cautiously through my apartment checking each corner of each room and checking on my sleeping baby.  No one was there.  My assumption?  I was hearing things.  DOH. 

8 months later, I woke up early so I could get my baby girl off to the sitter before work.  But when I went to her crib and touched her, she was burning up with fever.  And I heard the Voice, “This is it.”  Then I knew it was the voice of the Lord, warning me. 

I packed up some baby necessities and rushed her off to the pediatrician.  He examined her, gave her medicine, bathed her in ice, but still the fever held.  At that time he told me to take her home and let her sleep, and if she got worse to take her to the Emergency Room.  Do you think I had the courage to tell the doctor that I had heard the voice of God tell me she had meningitis?  No!!  I was more worried he would think I was insane!  But I followed his orders, and called in to work saying I would not be in, then laid down with her to sleep. 

When I woke, I checked her and she was unconscious, with her eyes rolled back in her head. In terror I snatched her up and drove like a mad woman to the hospital.  And second miracle (because the first was God speaking to me), there was a doctor standing at the door!!  He saw me carrying in her limp body and took her from me, asking “What’s going on with her?”   I blurted out, “She has meningitis!!”  And he looked at me, cocked his head and said “How do you know this?”  Believe me, at that point, I had no problem telling him, or worrying about whether he thought I was crazy or not.  And I blurted out, “God told me!”   He looked at me in a strange way, but said he was taking her immediately for a spinal tap.  When he came back into the lobby where I was waiting, he said that the second the fluid came out he knew that is was indeed meningitis and that they were admitting her.  I cried and cried, walking up with her to the Pediatric ICU, and then cried as I watched them insert needles in her skull and arms.  The prognosis for her recovery was dim.

But doctors are not God.  God had a plan for my baby and for me.  A month later, I took her home with me and we celebrated her first birthday.  It is true, she had to relearn walking and all that, but I can tell you that since that day, nothing has stopped my girl from what she set her mind to do.  She had some physical issues because of it, but nothing to stop her from anything she wanted to do.

And as for myself, I was not only grateful to the Lord for warning me and saving her life, but just for speaking to me.  For indeed, He showed me the path to life.  It would not be the last time, either.  

Perhaps one of you has also heard His voice?  

1 Timothy 4:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ Do not neglect the gift that is in you"

 To be continued

Yak Yak Yakkity Yak

Going through old papers, and found this that I wrote in a devotional back in 2003.

I was talking with my brother last night, and he brought up the fact, and yes, I mean fact, that women talk so much that men can't get a word in edgewise.  Well, he put it much more tactfully than that, but that is the general gist of the subject. 

According to him, and I can't attest to this because I do not wish to appear "Yakky", women have like 60,000 words to say per day, apparently all stored up.  (In reality we  probably have more, but hey fellows, we hold back for your sakes.)

Men, on the other hand, have only about 20,000.  Women spend about 20,000 of them a day telling kids "No", speaking in Dr. Seuss and Barney languages, and when their men get home, they are ready at last to communicate. The problem is, the men have spent 19.990 of their words at work and only have like 10 left when they hit the door.  If they yell, "Honey, I'm home!" They will only have 7 words left to communicate and thereafter are reduced to grunts. 

But then is exactly when the women want to communicate!  Poor guys.  And of course this made me think.  (I have been accused of that occasionally.)  But I was just pondering this.  Mulling it over.  It seems to be a spiritual problem with humans vs. The Eternal Being as well. 

We take our daily prayer time with God and we talk, talk, talk, and then we are ready to communicate.  Hey guys, this is not just us women.  Heads up, you do this too!

So let me detail a typical prayer.  One of mine. 

"Good morning, God!  I love you, Jesus!  Praise you!"

And God said, "Good morning, Susan..." and then I interrupted.

"Ok Lord, here's my list, hmmm.  I want to pray for our nation, and no more wars, and our leaders, and my son's and my son's wives and my daughter and my daughters future husband and my husband if I ever have one, and blah, blah, blah... yak..."

And God said, "Susan, I have something to say..Excuse me, Lord of Heaven and Earth to Susan.." and I interrupted 

" And Lord, I want to thank you for the trees and the flowers and my car and my job, and my house and blah, blah, blah.." (Here, God probably rests his great eternal chin on His hand and sighs.)

"And Lord I want to add, Blah, Blah, Blan yak yak yak.." And on and on I go.  Sometimes for hours.  Do I listen? Occasionally, if I happen to run out of air, or words. (Yes, guys that does happen sometimes.)  Or if some calamity has already happened because I DIDN'T listen. 

God wants to communicate with us!  This is a two way street.  I know from experience that if I don't listen, I pay for it in the long run.  Or worse, I miss something that could benefit my spirit. 

We need to LISTEN.  Turn on our spiritual ears and shut our mouths sometimes.  He has a lot to tell us.  About Him, about our lives, and about our world.  Most of the time we are so busy yakking, we cant hear.  Want to hear something I hear when I finally shut up? 

"Susan, I love you.  I gave my life so we could have this talk.  I have given it so you can live..."  And that gets my attention every time. 

I think sometimes we just need to listen.  To God and then to apply that to listening to others.  Just hearing His Heart and the heart of others. A little less talk and a lot more action.  

Ok, now that I have said that, at least I have used up about 530 of my 60,000 words, so I will shut up. 

"Be Still and Know that I am God, I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth"  Psalm 46:10 

God richly bless you all!!, 

Susie

Copyright 2003 

One Thing Greater Than the Dust We Own

I woke up from a dream in tears this morning.  I don’t remember everything in the dream, but the vivid picture left in my mind was this.  I was clutching the pant leg of my Grandad’s old overalls and pulling on them, and crying out his name. 

I had to get up immediately from that, my heart racing, because it stirred the memory of his death and my loss. 

After I caught my breath, the Lord brought a scripture to me.  “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world”

Of course I had to look it up.  1 John 2:15-16.  And just to be sure I looked up other translations.  The New Living Translation says this: “Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.” 

I pondered this.  It was clear in my dream that I was hanging on to my Grandad’s things.  That is clear to nearly everyone who knows me.  I have his WWI uniform, letters he wrote to my grandmother from France, some of his old tools, pictures of him, and various and sundry other things.  I consider them the most valuable possessions I own.  And why would that be? Because he was the most important person in my life, showing me how to live, pointing the way to heaven, and showing me the things of the earth.

But what of the overalls?  I have to say they were his signature clothing.  Well, those and his hat.  In my dream, this simple piece of clothing symbolized all that he was, being taken from me.  And the light came on.  All of his stuff that I treasure, every piece, are only worldly things.  And the thoughts went deeper.  Any of my achievements in this world?  Only dust.  All of my hopes and dreams in this world? Only dust. My grandads precious body buried in Colorado?  Only dust. 

But what of the treasures I have on this earth?  What are those?  My children and grandchildren?  My brothers and sisters in the Lord? They will also one day be Only dust on this earth.

And then it came to me.  My true and only treasure, is Jesus Christ!  He alone conquered the grave and lives forever!  He is not dust! He is alive and real.  And because of that one mighty selfless, loving act, the act of dying on a cross for all the world’s sins, yes and for mine also, and then conquering the grave by rising from the dead, He made it possible that all those I loved may one day be more than dust. 

So what will I do with my earthly treasures?  One day I will leave, and someone else will inherit them. I can hope that my children will cherish them, but they will not have that same connection with them that I do.  If I did have those old overalls, I can guarantee that those would be the first to go when I leave this earth, for there would be no “connection” to my Grandad.  They would not know or remember the smell of Lava soap when they held them, nor remember sitting on their scruffy knees listening to stories from the Bible.  They would not understand the heart connection, between myself and him, because that would not have been their experience.  It is after all the Heart connection that hold us to the things of the past.

We tend to save things that mean something to us.  Old photos, Flyers from events, birth and death certificates, gold jewelry, old furniture, and yes if I had them, I would have saved those old overalls.  But this dream caused me to question my evaluation of priceless things.  What is priceless?  The smile you can bring to an old person in a nursing home, just by showing up to show them you love them.  The sigh of relief of a poor person who, realizing what you have done by buying them food, recognizes that you are showing them love.  The acceptance of someone who has strayed far out of the path, and now, having come back, realizes that your love for them was always there. What is priceless and lasting?  Love.  It is the only thing on earth that means a darn whit. It will make up for lost time, it will call the lost to be saved.  It will hold the hands of the rejected and comfort the dying and lost. 

It was my love for my Grandad that brought that dream to me.  But more than that it was the love I remembered he gave to me, to show me the way to heaven, where he now is, without overalls.  And bigger than that was that he introduced me to the Creator who came to this earth and gave His life for me because of His unimaginable love for me.  

1 Corinthians 13 The Greatest Gift 13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is [d]perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.