6 am Reflections

It is 6:00 in the morning, and I am thinking. Not anything organized, just scattered thoughts.  I sit in the patio drinking my coffee every morning doing this.  I have done this for years.  It is one of my habits.
Yesterday I was in a funky mood.  Left overs from the shooting on Saturday, I am sure, but it makes me think sad thoughts.  Thoughts of those I lost whom I loved so much.  I think of the life they led, and how their lives, poured into mine, formed who I was to become.
Specifically, I am thinking about my grandfather.  I miss him. After 42 long, long years, I still miss him.  He was a bright spot on the map of my life. 


What made him so special that so many years later, I remember his gentle touch on my hair, hear his soft voice, see his face?  And one of those deep thoughts sets in.  He was a reflection of the one I want to be like, and am sometimes nothing at all like. 


I am sure there were times that he was impatient, but I never saw that.  I am sure that there were times when he did things wrong, never knew of that either.  Because he was so very human, I am sure that he had sin in his life, but I never noticed.  He was, to put it short, the most perfect human I ever knew.  He was, as I said before, a reflection.  Of Christ. 


Patience, enough to hold his tongue when a teenager talked back to him.  Love, enough to lay down his chance at a peaceful retired life, to take care of two kids whose mother had passed and whose father was a mess from the after effects of war and grief.  Joy, even in the midst of losing his wife, putting up with teenagers, running a farm where everything that could go wrong did, and poverty.  Hope, enough to teach a child how to hope in bad circumstances.  Kindness, to every creature; man or beast, even the occasional skunk who would show up on our porch. Goodness that was extended to anyone who knew him.  Faithful to the very last minute of his life.   


But as I said before, he was a reflection.  Like the moon reflects the sun, he reflected Christ in every word and deed.  And like I said before, I miss him still, but he did leave a legacy.  He left me here to carry on. 


As I sit in the morning, watching the light creeping over the hills, the moon hanging like a half-slip of light in the sky, my hope for today is that I can, like that half-slip moon, reflect even a portion of who Christ is in my life.  I am not expecting a miracle.  Or maybe I am. 


 ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Galations 5: 22-23. 

Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.