Putting The Doctors on Notice...

Yes, I am venting today.  Or maybe, I am just stating the obvious, and putting any doctors I see on notice from here on out.
So you know how you get notice from the Doctors office via telephone, text, in writing and in person, that if you miss an appointment and do not give 48 hours notice, you will be charged a missed appointment fee equal to half your yearly wages, plus interest and fees?
Why does that not apply both ways?  Let me explain.  It took and act of God to get my dad an appointment for a surgical consultation.  He resides in a nursing home, and in order for that appointment to get scheduled, it had to go through approval by the Nurse practitioner, the Nurse, the Transportation person and the Appointment scheduler.  Now although it was considered an "urgent" matter" it took a month to schedule this.  To top it off, I had to request time off for part of the week, rearrange my work schedule, and  rearrange my own doctors appointments, so I would not get charged a missed appointment fee.

We were supposed to meet at the Doctors office at 12:00 noon.  At 11:15, they called the nurses desk at the nursing home, and cancelled the appointment.  They didn't bother to call me, my dad had to do that. 
So Here is the notice the Doctor will be receiving, and any others who dare do the same thing...

Missed appointment cancellation policy.  8/11/12

Be advised that you missed your appointment that was scheduled for 08/07/12 without prior notice.  It is our policy that a missed appointment fee will be applied to the charges for this appointment.  The detailed bill follows.

1. Shock and Awe fee.  This is charged because it took the Army of God to make the appointment, two months to book it, and 2 seconds to say you were not showing up.  Base fee $10.00.  Other charges may apply.
2. Aggravation fee.   This fee is charged when the appointee had to make special arrangements to attend the appointment, such as rescheduling work, re-booking other appointments, tending to hurt feelings, and taking high blood pressure medication when you called and so rudely said. “Your appointment is cancelled” without giving a reason.   $35.00
3. Putting up with you fee.  This is charged simply because you think you can cancel any appointment because you are the doctor.  (See good cause for missed appointment reasons following.  This fee will not be charged if you have any evidence of some reason you could not show up.)  $55.00. 
4. Total of your missed appointment fee.  $100.00. 

Good Cause for missed appointment. 

A fee will not be charged for putting up with you, if you can provide evidence that any of the following incidents prevented you from keeping your appointment, or canceling with out 48 hours notice. 

1. Your death.   Please provide a notarized copy of certificate of death. 
2. Death in your family.  Ditto the above.
3. Stupidity.  You do not treat these type of diseases.  Please provide your Medical license and proof that you are a Doctor.
4. Car trouble.  Provide proof that you do not have adequate transportation and that you live out in the boonies somewhere a taxi could not pick you up or you could not take public transportation. 

Good cause for a missed appointment will not be accepted for any of the following reasons:

1. Your golf game is off and your feelings were hurt because you are under par.  We already know that by your previous actions. 
2. Your wife did not make coffee and you did not wake up in time. Grow up, make your own.
3. You forgot your bag.  Your brain was in it. Too bad.
4. Your partner (who we assume is also a Doctor) did not show up for work, and you had to take his appointments for him.  He is being charged also if this applies.  Too bad, so sad.

Please note: we accept only cash or cashiers checks.  Interest and fees will accumulate if you fail to pay and you may be turned over to collections.  Note also that unless we receive notice of good cause for the missed appointment, we will tell all our friends, our friend's friends, and post on Facebook, My Space and in the local paper that you are not trustworthy enough to keep an appointment..  The Management.  
Note: We use a private collection agency. We advise that if you are visited by two burly guys who say they were sent by Michael Scalponini, (Bookmakers and Protection, LLC),that you pay up quick.