“Have you LOST your marbles?”

The statement listed above did not mean we were incapable of clear thinking.  It did not mean that we were stupid, so to speak, or that somehow we had obtained a special level of idiocy.  I will explain by example.

The first clearest memory I have of this saying being applied to my behavior, was when I decided that I could ride the neighbor’s bull.  No bull about it, I really thought that he was just a big cow and that large creatures were meant to be ridden.  So I led him up to the corral fence, swung my leg over him, and the rest is all a jumble of flailing arms and the distinct taste of cow manure in my mouth.  When I was rescued by my dad, the first thing out of his mouth was, “Have you lost your marbles?”  And the first thing I remember thinking was, “Well, no, actually they are in a sack in the house.”

The second memory I have of this, was when my brother John and I, as was our custom, decided that flood waters were a great place to swim.  There was a “gully” that ran through the middle of our property and the water ran swiftest there.  We hightailed ourselves up to the road, and without a thought, jumped into the water on the far side of the road.  The biggest problem with that was that there was a culvert that ran UNDER the road and the gully washed right through it in such a rush that it spewed 10 feet up in the air on the other side.  Think of it as a great water park, only deadly. Yes, we got sucked through the culvert, yes we flew 10 feet in the air, sputtering and coughing and laughing, and yes (obviously because I am still here) we survived to pull ourselves out on the bank of the gully.  But when I looked down, there on my leg was a centipede, at least an inch across, firmly attached to my leg from my hip down to my knee. I screamed like a girl (oh wait, I was a girl.)  And then I ran. As if that was going to dislodge him.  My brother caught up to me and said, “Hold still and I will get him off.” And just like that he grabbed the bugger and unzipped him from my leg, leaving a hundred holes that burned like fire.   We retreated to the parent’s home, and there they examined my wounds.  And then the expected, “Have you lost your marbles?” 

There are so many incidents of this type that I won’t bore you with any of the details.  My parents used the usual Marbles statement, but my grandad always asked “What were you thinking?” 

As in the time when John and I attempted launching off of the two story barn roof down into the hay stack, thinking we could fly.  And when we went into the flooding Fountain River and nearly drowned.  And when we found some quicksand and tested it to see if you really could float in it.  Each time he rescued us, he would say, “What were you thinking?” 

But to the parents, it was quite clear we were bonkers.  They kept asking if we had lost our marbles, and we kept telling them, “No, they are in a sack in my room.”   In the meantime, while we were grounded in between death defying feats, we actually played with our marbles. There were cat’s eyes and solid ones, all different colors, “Biggies” and one we called a “Steely” which was actually a ball bearing from the wheel of one of our tractors.  In this game, we would make a circle, place our marbles inside the circle, and get our best “shooter”.  The intention of the game was to see how many of your opponent’s marbles you could knock out of the circle, and then it became yours.  My brother maintained ownership of the “Steely” which would actually not only knock them out, but in some cases, because he had a thumb that was like an automatic rifle, would actually crack them in half. 

Needless to say, we did survive well past our stupid years, although I cannot with honesty say we did not do more really stupid things, which I later would nix as forbidden to my own children.  I never used the lost marbles statement on them, because it never worked on me, mostly because I did not understand how someone could compare a human brain to a bag of marbles.  But it did finally occur to me during one of my children’s attempts at self-annihilation that it had nothing to do with “thinking” and everything to do with “reasoning.”  

My parents feeble attempt at making us think, only made us think of marbles, but my grandad's patient questioning came into play when I became a parent, and I began to understand the “thinking” part, and the “marbles” part. 

Here is the difference.  “Thinking” requires logic and a careful thought as to the consequence of your actions.  “Marbles” applies to judgement, which, without logic applied, is just a bag of stones rolling around in your head, and when you lose them, you lose your ability to make good decisions or “Think”. 

Sometime in our much later years, my brother and I “grew up”, although I objected to that, and still do.  I started to maintain the thought that we have nothing to fear but fear itself, oh and stupid actions.  I had to make a lot of those stupid actions before my thinking allowed my marbles to kick in. 

About 20 years ago, I made a trip home and was visiting John.  He said he had a surprise for me, and asked me to close my eyes.  When I opened them, there was the sack of marbles laying in my lap, along with the famed “Steely”.  I laughed and then I cried.  All those marbles I had lost, I had now regained. When I got back to Arizona from Colorado, I carefully tucked them away.  So carefully that over three moves, I was unable to find them.  But today in going through stacks of old letters, old pictures, and just taking a walk down memory lane, there they were at the bottom of the bin! 

My brother went to his great reward in December of 2013.  But he left me his marbles, and mine, and as I take a trip back down the memories of my life, I hold them and cherish each one.  I think about how over the years we discussed our childish ways, and just how much fun they were, and about how we began to see that actions have consequences.  It may have taken many long years, Brother, but I have finally “Found my marbles.”   

The Trademark of Motherhood.

                                       

1 Corinthians 13    The Way of Love

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.  When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

When I think of the mother’s I have had in my life, my mind brings me back to this verse, the heart of motherhood.  True, it is not all about just women, it applies to all of us, but especially to those who choose to parent a child, even if that child is not their own.  This was the blessing most of my life.

My beautiful mother passed in 1959, just after I had turned 7.  She was so ill that for the last 4 months of her life, I had to go live with my grandparents.  But I still remember her soft voice, her heart of love, her selflessness.  The way she calmly handled all my childish ways.  Like when I determined to run away from home, so she helped me pack.  (Then watched out the window to see what I would do, which was go three doors down, sit on my little suitcase, and cry. My grandfather, sent I am sure by a phone call from Mama, retrieved me, and she welcomed me back, and offered me a snack.) 

I started to tell the story of each of them, but there is not enough room to tell of women who showed their love by smacking the sense into me while simultaneously binding up my wounds. Those who never complained no matter what happened to them, but went to bat for me when it was my own stupidity that got me into the mess. Women (and some men) who gave me words of wisdom at just the right time, when my ears were open and my mouth was shut.  Those who put up with all of my shenanigans, even when it would seem that everyone had given up on me, and still loved me.    

For those mother’s I have lost to eternity, I know I will see them again.  No I do not believe they are angels in heaven now, for angels have unending work ahead of them that they were created for and these mother’s now have rest.  But in a sense, they were angels here on earth with what seemed like unending work ahead of them, sent by God to guide me and show me the way to go. 

Overall, all I can say this; the trademark of any true mother is love.  It is about being patient and kind, putting up with all kinds of nonsense and heartbreak, yet still believing that, no matter what, it will all turn out for the best.  Yes, it is about wiping two pounds of peanut butter off of your youngest child because the oldest believed he could “paint” him.  Yes, it is about waiting up for what seems an eternity for your offspring to show up in the middle of the night, having been who-knows-where.  Yes, it is about answering questions that have no answers, repeatedly until you want to scream.  But it is also about snuggling the little ones, being amazed by the teens, and finally watching as they go through their own struggles, and succeed.  Yes, it is all about giving love, possibly never to receive it back until doomsday, but it is also about planting the fruit of love, and watching it grow in beauty. 

Ah, the heart of motherhood!! Love. Unfailing, determined love, that never gives up, never gives in, and keeps on going.  I hope today for all those mother’s, that there will be one moment of peace and knowing that this is the biggest part of God’s plan for your life; to guide your children to Him. 

The Best Mother’s day gift ever.

(Please take a moment to listen to the song by For King and Country) 

                                                               

My son text me this morning the usual “Whatcha doin’”, and of course, I was “Doin’ nuffin.”  Then he asked if I would like to go for a “hike” with him and my granddaughter, Hannah, at the park.  Of course, I don’t consider the park a “hike” per se, more like a meaningless stroll, but I agreed just to spend time with him.  I asked if it was ok to bring along my friend, Charles, and he agreed.  Charles and I had been planning to go work out at the gym, but being outdoors sounded so much more fulfilling.

So off we went to the park, and all the way to the back of it.  This park borders the Rillito River.  For my own purposes I call it a “wash” since it rarely has any water in it, and aren’t rivers supposed to have water?  However, as many times as I have been at this park in the past 40 years, I never knew that the river could be accessed from the park. So I thought, this could be an adventure.  My heart has been miserably in need of an adventure.

At first, when I saw the steep incline that led down to the river bottom, I was scared.  I have broken my leg twice, injured my back, dislocated my shoulder, all on the left side, and I tend to be a little off balance, you might say. At 63 years old, I have been told to “be careful” so many times, it feels like at any moment I am sure to injure myself again.  But my strong son had an answer for this.  He said, “Just put your hands on my shoulders and I will lead you down. “  And so I did, setting off on what would be a most beautiful adventure.

Once we got down the incline, I saw that some kids had been playing there, and had made a maze.  Also Hannah, having arrived there before us, had drawn two huge feet, indicating that Big Foot was around somewhere.  Something that had been dead inside me forever began to stir. 

Hannah said we should follow the tracks, my son said we should go the opposite way, and indicated where a nice well-travelled trail led.  We went the trail at first, but then the child inside me woke up.  The men were behind Hannah and I, having a deep discussion about theories of evolution and the countering theological debate that ensued lasted the entire time we were there.  That left Hannah and I to pick our own path.  And pick it we did!  Off through the brush to find the bamboo we could see growing in the distance, and down the sandy wash toward what appeared to be a campsite.  Then as we were weaving back and forth through the brush, we came upon a fort.  That special kind of fort built by ten year old minds with the only tools available, sticks and a dead tree. Hannah and I made our way up to it, and went inside, in spite of the “NO TRESPASSING” sign that was crudely stuck on the branches.  There, within the circle of the fort walls was a fire pit.  Now I was really on a roll. But it was time to head back to the car. 

Hannah and I headed off our own way, through the brush, down a fence line, wondering what we would find and laughing.  The debate continued on behind us, as we picked the path, through stickers, brush, dead branches and sand.   I found a marble and gave it to Hannah.  We found some old sticks.  And I found something else.

Over the course of the hour and a half that we were there, I was 12 again.  Running wild in the best of two worlds, with my brother John in the Fountain River and with Hannah on the Rillito river, with no boundaries.  In that brief time, I found a part of me that I thought had died.  The part that is still a child and wants to explore and find adventure in life.   

I am sure my doctor will have a hissy fit when I tell him about it. So maybe I won’t.  Or maybe, just maybe, I will tell him that the most important part of being human is what is inside, and then tell him to go find someone else to plague with restrictions and medication.   After all, God made me to Run Wild, Live free, and Love strong.  And I can’t do that cooped up in some box.   

Next is the Zip line!

Turkey Nightmares, Angels and Common Sense

Ever had one of those crazy dreams you just want to wake up from, but somehow you are trapped in?

I had one of those this morning, after an unusual breakfast of turkey.  I could say I wish I would have chosen oatmeal, but if I had not had that dream, I would not be writing this today.  And I have been very remiss at my writing.

So after my turkey, I snuggled up on the couch with my favorite pillow and drifted off to East Tucson.  Somehow I was at my friend Christina’s house, although I have never been there.  And somehow this friend had a beautiful new red mustang, but I couldn’t find my car.  So she loaned me hers, and I set off on an adventure. 

I took off happy as a lark driving, going down Golf Links, when I suddenly realized I was on the wrong side of the road straight into oncoming traffic.  There was nothing to do but throw it into reverse and attempt a very rapid back up, and pray I didn’t hit any other cars.  So in my dream, I was doing 60 mph in reverse, maneuvering like a pro and managed to swing around a corner into a side street straight out of the jaws of disaster.  I breathed hard, calmed myself and proceeded on my way, but I was now no longer in East Tucson.  I was in Atlanta, Georgia.  And I was lost.

I recently took a trip back to Georgia and this very thing had happened to me, which is why I suppose it was incorporated in my dream. Their freeways made me swear never to complain about Arizona’s, but it was when I was on the city street that I was really lost.  It was a maze of twists and turns, no street names and people who lived there who had no clue where they lived either. I was lost for 3 hours, and stopped to cry, since this had never happened to me before, when a homeless man came up to me and inquired very tenderly why I was crying.  I told him I was from Arizona and I was lost.  ‘Well you are a long way from home, girly.”  And then he gave me 1/3 of the directions to the airport.  He wasn’t sure about the rest of them.  I set off on the 1/3 and when I got to the destination, parked again, and cried.  Another homeless man came up to me and directed me to another place, near my destination, but when I got there, I couldn’t figure out how to get to what I could clearly see.  And then a taxi cab driver came up to me and asked why I was crying, so I told him.  He said ‘Follow me” and I gladly did, and finally reached my destination.  I tried giving him a tip, but he just asked if I was ok now, and drove off. Personally I think they were angels. 

Back to my dream though. Now I am in Atlanta and I am lost, but I find a street that is going the direction I need to go which is East, but it’s really West and South and every which way.  I stop, park the car, and go into a building to ask directions.  Here there was a man with wild crazy hair, who leads me into the office and very professionally welcomed me to the Mall.  He seemed quite confident and I was glad that finally someone had come to show me the way.   As I make my way into the waiting area I hear him scream that there is a black widow.  I ran to his rescue, with a strange large leather shoe in my hand that I had no clue where it came from.  When I look at this man, who was screaming like a sissy, I see him looking behind me at the wall.  I turn around and it is covered with hair and dirt and in between all that mess, one teeny tiny spider.  So I smash it, take the piles of hair I wiped off the wall and the dead spider and proceed out the door to the trash can.  In commencing my departure from this place, I realize that I have lost my keys, forgot where I parked Christina’s car, and can’t find my cell phone. 

So I wandered around this business plaza and found that it was really a bunch of shops called “The Browsers Mall.”  Everything was free, but in perusing the merchandise, nothing was worth owning.  So I decided to leave to take Christina’s car back to her.

I ran down the stairs only to find a homeless man (No, not the ones from REAL ATLANTA, one from TUCSON/ATLANTA of the nightmare realm), and he asks me for something, which I turn around to give him, but when I turn back, the Mustang is now an old Pontiac, all marred and scarred.  I ran around the corner to look for the Mustang.. and then I looked up and cried, “God please help me!” 

And I woke up.  In my home, on the couch, with my favorite pillow, sun shining and all right with my own little world.   

I realize that dreams are just dreams, perhaps the effect of what you are going through, or perhaps that last piece of turkey you ate.  But this one seemed so much like life in America right now.  We hope for prosperity, but expect it to come freely, without hard work, and then find ourselves going the wrong way in a place we never intended to go to.  We have put men in office who have allowed our laws to become dirty and overrun with lobbyists and people who do not have the good of the people in mind.  They show a brave face, act like they know what they are doing, but when it is time to fix the countries problems, they end up screaming like sissy’s, eating their free lunch so they can go home to this most confusing place we have allowed them to build.  I mean seriously, where is the country I knew and loved? 

In the meantime, we, the people, are shopping in the Browser’s Mall, hoping we will get stuff for free, but nothing is worth having, and when we return to the place where it all began, we find that it’s not there anymore.  We have sold our souls to the Devil to try obtain stuff that will not sustain us as a nation, or individually, and turned to TV to tell us what we really need.  And the worst part is we let a bunch of Grown Children take over our government and we act surprised that things are in such a mess.  IMHO, we have bludgeoned common sense to death with our repeated hammer of greed, slit it’s throat with the knife of stupidity, and then cried that America is dead.  Do not be fooled.  WE DID THIS.

Let me note here, that it only takes one big leather shoe, a little bit of grit and determination, and some common sense to rid the world of the spiders that eat our souls.  The leather shoe is the Bible, the grit and determination are our faith that God is and that He hears us, and if you don't know what common sense is.. Look IT UP.

In the end, I hope we will all end up screaming “God please help us!”, because He wants to, He is able, and He will if we just ask.

You Reap What You Sow!! Gotcha!

I live in a 3 story apartment on the ground floor, due mostly to the fact that I was born a klutz.  This has its advantages, mainly that I won’t fall down the stairs (again).  It also has its drawbacks.  Mainly that (and I so graciously give Simon and Garfunkel all the credit for this saying) one man’s (or woman’s) ceiling is another man’s floor.

My upstairs neighbors are wonderful young men.  Two roommates who apparently work all day, since I can hear their dog, whining in her crate all day long.  When they arrive home, it’s a little noisier, until I suppose they go in to take a nap, so they can perform all night.  But when 10:00 pm arrives, it’s like the entire United States Army has arrived with boots on the ground, radio’s blaring.  The only thing missing is gunfire… Or perhaps they are performing some ceremonial dance, with accompanying music..

                                                            

I have attempted a few times to silence them.  I took the stairs, carefully, and went up to ask them to tone it down.  They willingly gave me their phone number so I could call and ask them to tone it down, instead of taking the stairs.  And I did call them, several times.  But they seem to be short on memory regarding their heavy stepping, loud stereo and TV blaring all night long. 

But last night I got them back!  Ha-ha and on a weekday too, when they had to get up the next morning and work!

I have been sick for a few weeks now, with a cold that seems to hang on for dear life.  It has now taken up residence in my chest, and I have developed a horrendous cough over the past two nights.  The first night, I never thought of how it would affect my neighbors above me, who could hear a pin drop through the ceiling.  But last night, I could not stop the cough.  I would drift off to sleep and wake up coughing, a cough that sounds like machine gunfire. 

                                                                         

But about 3 am, after a particularly bad round of coughing, I noticed that when I coughed, my neighbor got out of bed too.  I could hear them, as soon as I started coughing, for it seemed they jumped out of bed at the onset, then when it quieted down, all was quiet upstairs. 

To make a long story short, they got only a couple of hours of sleep last night.  Then off to work at 6 am this morning. 

Be not deceived, whatever you reap you will sow… And now it’s daytime, I can nap!!  And they have to work.. HAHA!!

                            Always, Always look at the bright side of things!

THROUGH THE EYES OF WONDER

I was visiting one of my “older” friends today and we were discussing, or so I assumed, physics. The exact thing that brought it up was the storm that was running rampant across Arizona today, dropping snow and significant rain.  And, yes, I know significant for us, is like nothing to the rest of America.  I won’t even go there.

But the subject was this.  If the clouds are full of water, which is heavier than air, what holds them up?  My immediate response was “God does”.  My friend’s response?   “How?”  And a great discussion ensued which left me wondering “How?” 

So of course I got on the internet to check it out.  Science is not my forte, after all.  I must rely on what real scientists have discovered.  So here is what I found.  Bear with me, please.

From Scientific American.  (The short version without radius squared and all that stuff.)

“Even though typical clouds do contain a lot of water, this water is spread out for miles in the form of tiny water droplets or crystals, which are so small that the effect of gravity on them is negligible. Thus, from our vantage on the ground, clouds seem to float in the sky.”

From Mental Floss

“Figure out how dense the cloud is. Scientists have measured the water density of a typical cumulus cloud (the white, fluffy ones you see on a nice day) as 1/2 gram per cubic meter—about a small marble’s worth of water in a space you and a friend could comfortably sit in. The density will be greater for different types of clouds. “

(So my friend Yolie and I can’t float, how does a cloud? And then the answer.. sheesh.)

“If elephants or donkeys or dinosaurs were hanging out in the sky, they’d fall. So how does a several-hundred-ton cloud stay afloat? For one thing, the weight isn’t concentrated in a hundred elephant-sized particles or even a billion marble-sized ones. It’s distributed among trillions of really tiny water droplets spread out over a really big space. Some of these droplets are so small that you would need a million of them to make one raindrop, and gravity’s effect on them is pretty negligible.”

 (And now we are elephants and donkeys and DINOSAURS??  Well, maybe my OLDER friends are dinosaurs, but I am not.  At least not yet. More like a donkey, but REALLY?)

This afternoon, after returning home and completing my “research”, the most glorious sunset with the most intricately woven clouds of all colors appeared.  There were dark clouds with flat bottoms, golden ones with red tinges, Orange ones, Dark blue and grey ones, and a glorious white one behind them all.  As I sat there viewing it in awe, it occurred to me.  I really don’t give a fiddle how clouds are held up there.  I know WHO holds them up and that is all that matters, and then it hit me.

The WONDER of clouds, the sky, the earth, Trees and plants.  Air creatures and water creatures and HUMANS…..

And I had my answer for my friend.   GOD DOES. 

Psalm 8: 3 -4  “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?” 

Wisdom from the ages.. About that opportunity...

I have been thinking about things that are going on, not only around the world, but also in my own neighborhood.  It brought to mind a story that a pastor once told. I can’t remember which pastor, and I am not sure if he plagiarized a plagiarism, but I thought that I would just to entertain you all and make a point. Here goes.

A man woke up one day to hear the sound of a sheriff’s bull horn as they drove by and announced that everyone needed to get up and evacuate because a flood was coming.  Drowsily, he went to the window and saw his neighbors fleeing to their vehicles.  He said to himself, “I can wait until all the cars leave, that way I won’t get caught in traffic.” So he made a cup of coffee and sat for a little while, then went out to start his car.  Unfortunately, he had left the lights on, and the battery was dead.  He stuck his head outside and looked at the horrific clouds looming on the horizon, and said to himself, “I don’t need to hurry or worry.  I will wait for the Lord to rescue me.” And with that he went back inside to enjoy his cup of java. 

A little later, he noticed the sheriff driving down the street with the bull horn, calling out to anyone who had been left behind.  They saw him and urged him to get in their vehicle.  He told them “No, the Lord is going to rescue me.”  And went back in for a second cup.

Not many minutes later, he heard the sound of rushing water, and when he looked outside he saw a wall of water rushing down the street. He knew he needed to take to high ground, so he went outside, climbed up a ladder and got on the roof.  Not two minutes later the rushing water came down, taking with it trees and automobiles and pieces of houses.  He was a little afraid, but he said to himself, “No, I will wait upon the Lord. He will rescue me. “

Just a few minutes later he heard the sound of an engine, and down the middle of where the street once was, came a boat with two men inside.  They called to him “Get in! We will take you to safety!”  But being convinced in his own mind that the Lord was going to complete a miraculous rescue, he called back to them, “No, I am waiting on the Lord,”  With that the men in the boat went their way looking for people who were willing to be rescued. 

It seemed forever that he had waited.  The water was up over the roof of the house now, and he could barely keep his footing. But he felt sure that the Lord would rescue him, so he prayed.  About that time he heard another sound, a helicopter overhead looking for survivors of the flood.  They spotted him and zoomed down and lowered a rope to him, telling him to tie himself to it and they would pull him up.  “No,” he said, “I am waiting for the Lord to rescue me.”   They pleaded with him to no avail, and then flew off to search for others who were willing to be rescued.  

Suddenly a huge wall of water came crashing in, and the man was swept away.  The water was so powerful that it ripped and tore at his limbs and he could not stay afloat.  As he sunk into the depths of the flood, he told himself, “The Lord will surely rescue me now.”  And with that he lost consciousness. 

He awoke to a bright heavenly light and all around him were angels and the sound of music more beautiful than any he had ever heard.  He got up, and found that his body was intact and he was wearing a beautiful white robe.  He began to wander, looking around and convinced himself that this must be heaven! 

About that time, the Lord appeared to him and he fell to his knees.  He looked up at the face of the Lord in awe and then a question came to his mind.  “Lord, when I was in the house, in the flood and underwater, why didn’t you save me?” 

And the Lord answered.  “I sent a sheriffs car, a boat and a helicopter.  What else did you expect?” 

And the moral of the story is:  When the call to evacuate comes, don't sit and think about it and remember, God works not only in unexpected ways but also in ordinary ways.  When He provides you an opportunity, even though you don’t think it good enough, take it.  There might not come another.