Bless me Father for I have sinned... (Or the difference between earthly fathers and God)

Where I grew up the main denomination was Catholicism  I even went, by accident, to catechism one day.  One of  my friends explained the basics to me, about confession. Which was the first time I ever heard "Bless me father, for I have sinned."  In my mind, this seemed like an invitation for a beating.  I can tell you that if I had ever confessed anything to my father, he would have blessed me with one of his customary forms of punishment,which were not pretty to say the least.  My brother used to bow his head and lower his eyes when my dad approached with "that look" on his face.  And then he would mutter under his breath, "Let the beatings commence."  We learned that the best way to deal with confessing anything to our father, was to deny all wrongdoing, hide the evidence, and if all else failed, be absent when he got home.  His "practical judgment" as we called it, produced at least four children who could lie to the Pope or the President and be believable. 


The sad thing about this was that it drove most of my family as far away from God as they could possibly get.  The concept of a heavenly father who could see everything you did, knew every thought, had more power than we could imagine, was just too dangerous a concept, considering the earthly father we knew. And I can understand the reasoning behind it.  Who would want an all powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing father, especially if he were like the one we currently had? 


Recently I sat with my father in the nursing home while he cried and confessed once again to me how sorry he is that he failed his children. The beauty in his tears is the confession of a heart that is reconciled to his sin, and accepting that God is a loving,caring father, who has forgiven him, and accepts him. This is the one absolutely awesome thing that I learned from my father, even though late in my life and his. Our Heavenly Father is not at all like our earthly father. Yes, He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing.  But He is also all-loving and all-forgiving, if we just come to Him and ask him to bless us with that love.


It would have been a comfort when I was younger to come to my dad and be able to confess everything.  But,eventually, I learned that I can come to God. With Him there is no lie He does not know, no evidence He has not seen, and yet, He still accepts me.  Even though there are often consequences for my sin, He is with me, carrying me through all of them. And in this, now I understand what it means to be blessed.     
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Linn-Gomez. All Rights Reserved.